S.N. Forensics - Partner Perspective

  By Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA®, CFEI, CDS | CEO & Founder, Women’s Financial Wellness Center Almost every woman who sits down with me says some version of the same sentence in the first ten minutes. I am terrible with money. I should have paid more attention. I should know more about this. Then I ask her three questions about her actual life, and it turns out she runs a department, manages a household budget on an impossible number, or owns a business. She is not bad with money. More often, she simply was not the person managing every aspect of the family’s finances. There are two gaps that show up in nearly every case I take. The first is confidence. The second is information. Left unaddressed, they can compound each other, and by the time an agreement is signed, it may be difficult to go back and fill in what was missed. Gap one: confidence Financial roles develop in marriages for all kinds of reasons. One spouse may handle investments while the other manages househol...

  By Cherie Morris, J.D., CDC, www.DearDivorceCoach.com The first time many of my clients sit across from a forensic accountant or financial professional in their divorce, they open with an apology. "I should know this. I'm embarrassed. He handled all of it." Or: "She managed the accounts. I just signed where I was told. How could I have let this happen?" Before anyone talks about spreadsheets, valuations, or disclosure deadlines, I want to name what is actually in the room at that moment. It is not ignorance. It is shame. And in the financial side of divorce, shame is expensive. Shame is not a character flaw. It is a predictable arrival. In many long marriages, one person takes the lead on managing the finances. It can simply be part of the division of labor, much like one person handling pediatrician appointments while the other manages home maintenance. Relying on your spouse for financial information may have been a natural part of that arrangement a...